Renewing Minds.  Transforming Lives.

Why the months after therapy matter, and what the research says about supporting clients through them You know the session. Your client has done the hard work. The symptoms have eased, the skills are in place, and you both agree it's time to discharge. It's a good day, and one of the reasons you do this work. Still, many counselors feel a quiet worry as the door closes. Will they keep using what they learned once life gets loud again? That worry is well founded. Depression in

Every clinician knows the moment. A client has done the hard work: processed trauma, learned to sit with distress, loosened the grip of the stories that kept them stuck. Goals are met, symptoms have eased, and discharge is appropriate. And yet you both sense that the new skills are still young. They show up reliably in your office. Whether they show up on a hard Tuesday afternoon, three months from now, is a different question. That gap is why I built my coaching practice. Wh

A Practical Application of James 1:27 "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." (James 1:27, English Standard Version Bible, 2001/2016) James 1:27 gives us one of Scripture's clearest pictures of authentic faith: caring for orphans and widows in their affliction while keeping ourselves unstained from the world. This verse is the capstone of James's opening

The "He Must Increase Model" Explained Research has revealed that psychological rigidity is linked to, and can predict, mental and emotional health issues, while psychological flexibility is associated with better mental and emotional health (Bond & Bunce, 2003; Bond et al., 2011; Hayes, Strosahl, et al., 2004; Hayes, Wilson, et al., 1996; Kashdan et al., 2006; Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010; Ruiz, 2010). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) describes psychological flexibility

Learning the Life Skill of Committed Action Compromising positions tempt us to live contrary to our values. Can you say no to compromising positions, or do you give in to the pressure? How do you feel when you compromise your values? Was it really worth not saying no? Having values is… valuable (I couldn’t resist saying that), but how valuable are our values if we don’t actually live them? When we enter our adolescent stage of development, we begin to question our beli

Learning the Life Skill of a Values-Based Life Every time we say, “I can’t,” we prove ourselves right. But every time we say, “I can,” we give ourselves a chance to succeed. The key problem is that we are born with a self-preserving, self-centered mentality that often becomes fatalistic and self-defeating. Have you ever experienced a change of opinion? I hated Brussels sprouts for nearly all my life until I tried them roasted with olive oil. My automatic response chang

Learning the Life Skill of De-fusion Are you still playing King of the Hill? Are you trying to play it alone? We learned this game as children, proving our superiority by fending off challengers who tried to knock us from our mound of dirt. Some kids waited until there were no challengers before standing on their mound and loudly declaring, “I am king of the hill!” But that title was fickle, whether we earned it or simply claimed it. Today, we often call this kind of iden

Learning the Skill of Self-Care Moments My life is currently filled to overflowing—well beyond what I would ever recommend to my clients. Because of this, I am continually asked, “How do you have time for self-care?” My response is simple: Micro-Retreats. Micro-Retreats are a product of mindfulness, much like remaining in unceasing prayer. Whether it’s prayer, meditation, silence, gratefulness, acts of kindness, or any of the spiritual disciplines, I have learned to live in t

Learning the Life Skill of Self-as-Context When I was a teenager, I loved watching slasher movies. What can I say—it was the eighties. Even the TV commercials eventually picked up on one of the genre’s most familiar patterns: people making choices the average viewer would never make. Imagine one of those ridiculous movies where someone is being chased by a crazed killer. They run past a sports car with the convertible top down, the engine running, and no one in the car. In

Learning the Life Skill of Mindfulness A very common sentiment I hear from people is that they do not feel the presence of God. Many describe feeling alone in life, abandoned by God, or unsure whether His nearness depends on something they are doing right or wrong. The result can be loneliness, insecurity, anxiety, powerlessness, hopelessness, and fear. Over time, those feelings may lead to agitation, phobias, or unhealthy coping mechanisms, including substance abuse, obsessi

Learning the Life Skill of Acceptance What kind of parents did you have while growing up? Did you feel like you could trust them? Did you feel safe in their care? Many people grew up in homes where safety felt uncertain, and that can quietly shape the way we see God, ourselves, and life. Parents tend to lean toward either too much control or too much distance, at least to some degree. If that sounds familiar, it can make complete sense that control feels so important now. You

Learning the Life Skill of Acceptance Most of us experience life like a roller coaster. We don’t always know which way it’s headed, and the loops and corkscrews can throw us around before we see any real pattern. Some people find that ride fun and exciting. Others find it terrifying. What makes the difference? The first person can enjoy the excitement, even when it gets scary, becau se they trust the track. The second person feels overwhelmed because they don’t. Some people

A teenager went on their first date with their first sweetheart. They walked into a fast-food restaurant and the teen walked straight to a table and left their date to order for them. Their date called them back into the line and told them to order whatever they wanted. They responded, "Whatever you get for me is fine." Their date, unsatisfied with their response, demanded, "No, you look at the menu and choose for yourself." The teen looked up at the menu on the overhead

Just a quick thought: Is anyone else feeling pressured in life? Does your personal and work schedule look more like a TV program listing? On top of all of that, add the current social and political climate. Doesn’t it feel sometimes like one of those dreams where you are running as hard as you can, but you are just running in slow motion while whatever is chasing you is getting closer and the escape is getting farther away? When my life seems to be getting this way, I de

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4 (ESV) The key to our Lord giving to us the desires of our heart seems to be both perfectly simple and simply perplexing. What is this conditional promise? What does it mean to delight one’s self in the Lord? The phrase delight in the Lord in this passage could literally be understood to mean “find your deepest pleasure and contentment in the Lord.” What does this look like in the Beli