Renewing Minds.  Transforming Lives.

The "He Must Increase Model" Explained Research has revealed that psychological rigidity is linked to, and can predict, mental and emotional health issues, while psychological flexibility is associated with better mental and emotional health (Bond & Bunce, 2003; Bond et al., 2011; Hayes, Strosahl, et al., 2004; Hayes, Wilson, et al., 1996; Kashdan et al., 2006; Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010; Ruiz, 2010). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) describes psychological flexibility

Learning the Life Skill of Committed Action Compromising positions tempt us to live contrary to our values. Can you say no to compromising positions, or do you give in to the pressure? How do you feel when you compromise your values? Was it really worth not saying no? Having values is… valuable (I couldn’t resist saying that), but how valuable are our values if we don’t actually live them? When we enter our adolescent stage of development, we begin to question our beli

Learning the Life Skill of a Values-Based Life Every time we say, “I can’t,” we prove ourselves right. But every time we say, “I can,” we give ourselves a chance to succeed. The key problem is that we are born with a self-preserving, self-centered mentality that often becomes fatalistic and self-defeating. Have you ever experienced a change of opinion? I hated Brussels sprouts for nearly all my life until I tried them roasted with olive oil. My automatic response chang

Learning the Life Skill of De-fusion Are you still playing King of the Hill? Are you trying to play it alone? We learned this game as children, proving our superiority by fending off challengers who tried to knock us from our mound of dirt. Some kids waited until there were no challengers before standing on their mound and loudly declaring, “I am king of the hill!” But that title was fickle, whether we earned it or simply claimed it. Today, we often call this kind of iden

Learning the Life Skill of Self-as-Context When I was a teenager, I loved watching slasher movies. What can I say—it was the eighties. Even the TV commercials eventually picked up on one of the genre’s most familiar patterns: people making choices the average viewer would never make. Imagine one of those ridiculous movies where someone is being chased by a crazed killer. They run past a sports car with the convertible top down, the engine running, and no one in the car. In

Learning the Life Skill of Mindfulness A very common sentiment I hear from people is that they do not feel the presence of God. Many describe feeling alone in life, abandoned by God, or unsure whether His nearness depends on something they are doing right or wrong. The result can be loneliness, insecurity, anxiety, powerlessness, hopelessness, and fear. Over time, those feelings may lead to agitation, phobias, or unhealthy coping mechanisms, including substance abuse, obsessi

Learning the Life Skill of Acceptance What kind of parents did you have while growing up? Did you feel like you could trust them? Did you feel safe in their care? Many people grew up in homes where safety felt uncertain, and that can quietly shape the way we see God, ourselves, and life. Parents tend to lean toward either too much control or too much distance, at least to some degree. If that sounds familiar, it can make complete sense that control feels so important now. You

Learning the Life Skill of Acceptance Most of us experience life like a roller coaster. We don’t always know which way it’s headed, and the loops and corkscrews can throw us around before we see any real pattern. Some people find that ride fun and exciting. Others find it terrifying. What makes the difference? The first person can enjoy the excitement, even when it gets scary, becau se they trust the track. The second person feels overwhelmed because they don’t. Some people